Home Again, Home Again, Jiggitty Jog

Home is where the heart is...

In June, I made the long journey home to Ontario. I flew from Phnom Pehn to Seoul, enjoying a 3 hour lay over before the long flight to Toronto. I would hate to present as a travel snob, but Toronto Airport, Terminal 3 is pathetic in comparison to other world class airports. It's old, dirty and you have to walk miles to get to customs. The dirty walk was all worth it when I came through that gate and saw my precious son and my Mama. My girl had sent a welcome home poster, which said precious son did not hold up. After crashing for one long night, the visiting began!

Thank you to everyone who made an effort to spend time with me. I am grateful to you for fitting me into your lives. I loved every lunch date, dinner, barbeque, coffee date, walk and family dinner complete with nieces and nephews on both sides of the family. Nearing the end of my six weeks home, I began feeling panicked that there were people I had missed but did not know how to organize making it all work between Toronto, Stoney Creek and Niagara. I knew that my first priority were my children and so I parked at their apartment for that last week, making myself available if people would make the trek to see me. 

The kid's apartment felt like home. It is outfitted with things from our Niagara home, including some furniture, art work and kitchen essentials. I am pretty sure it was T and J's presence that made me feel like I had come home. I loved being part of their lives as they came and went from work. I was able to visit both of their churches, hear Jahred play his guitar at church, see their places of employment, explore Toronto and the University with them, cook for them, meet T's new beau, see their friends and best of all, feel like a Mom.

I enjoyed some time at my parent's house in Stoney Creek, where I have a floor to myself almost the size of the kid's downtown Toronto apartment. I am grateful for my friend Liz, who also housed me at her gorgeous house and cottage.

The strangest things made me feel like I had come home. Brita filtered water for one. I forgot how delicious water can taste. The cooler temperatures at dusk felt like heaven. Yes, Ontario experiences hot and humid weather in summer, but just take my word for it that it does not even come close to what Southeast Asia experiences most of the year. Probably the best feeling of home was the soaker tub at my kid's apartment. Sweet T made me a welcome basket complete with bath bombs and salts to enjoy a bath every night. Taking a bath in Phnom Penh isn't an option at my house. First, it would be difficult to fill the tub with warm water due to lack of running hot water. The tub is cheap plastic and made for small Cambodian bodies and is not sealed on to anything. That's right, it's just sitting on the floor without any support.

Meanwhile, in Phnom Penh, Greg discovered the bachelor life. After the first lonely week, he got into a groove as he was still attending language classes every night after work. He used a food delivery service - Meals by Lim - so his meals were waiting for him when he returned home for the evening. Greg had his own adventures, traveling to the Thai/Cambodia border to see the migrant access center firsthand. On the same trip, he visited the rice mill projects which are transforming rural communities in Cambodia. Although he managed to avoid eating boiled eel on this trip, he did come back to Phnom Penh with a funky tummy due to eating street food for a week.

Rice Mill - 

Six weeks flew by and it was time to prepare to come home to Phnom Penh. To be honest, my heart was torn as I was looking forward to seeing Greg and my new friends, but dreading saying goodbye to my family and friends in Ontario. Emotionally, it's a very strange place to find yourself. Ontario isn't quite home without Greg and my new friends and Phnom Penh isn't quite home without my family and friends from Ontario. No where can be home without my children. Living abroad requires one not to fret too deeply about such turbulent feelings as they cannot be defined. For me, coming to peace about the feelings I describe is simply being okay with them. It's okay to feel this way. It's okay that Niagara/Toronto is home and it's okay that Phnom Penh is home at the same time. Really, none of us get to call this world home forever.

Just as I hit the ground running when I arrived home in Ontario, I hit the ground running when I arrived home in Phnom Penh. Although I experienced much worse jet lag flying east, as in I felt like death for ten days, I was out visiting, having foot massages and lunches, seeing movies and shopping from the moment I arrived. Basically, I haven't stopped since. The Cambodian adventure continues...and calls me...home.