I must admit, I have balked at others who have claimed to be experiencing reverse culture shock. However, after I experienced re-entry into Canada after 3 years of life in Bangladesh, I recognized it truly is "a thing". Even though I am visiting my home country after only 9 months abroad, some confusing, conflicting emotions and experiences have lead me to realize that I am experiencing some re-entry shock on some level.
Habits form quicker than I realized. In Cambodia, we always handle money with respect, using either both hands to exchange it, or one hand on the bill whilst the other hand touches the opposite arm. I find myself handling money this way in Canada, and people looking at me strangely as a result. It's not really a "shock", but rather a surprise in how quickly the habit has formed.
When I went into the Zehrs Grocery Store at the Pen Center, I had a melt down. I cried. I can't determine if the extreme emotion was the shock of all that is available in one place or the pleasant memories of years of shopping for my family in that store. I can purchase almost everything in Phnom Penh that I can at home, but it takes a few stores and special trips out. My emotions are conflicted between the fun adventure of grocery shopping in Cambodia and the easy convenience of a Zehrs experience. I may miss the convenience a little more than I realized.
It is boring to drive in Canada. I remember feeling that way when we returned from Bangladesh. If you're stuck in traffic, which I am everytime I drive between Niagara and Toronto, you might as well have something entertaining to watch, like a moto filled with live chickens and ducks or people selling interesting things like deep fried crickets on the streets.
I have a better understanding of how difficult it is to stay in touch with the time difference and the busyness of life in Canada. I best experienced this at a family barbecue that Greg wanted to be part of and Skyped in on. The connection wasn't great, people had just started eating and weren't really interested in connecting with him. I felt the pain of knowing what that feels like when feeling all alone and so far away aligned with witnessing that people at home simply don't understand it. They're busy. They're eating. They have lives. My sweet J understood how his Dad was feeling and they had a great chat. I have come to understand the commitment my children take in connecting with us everyday as it is a challenge to be available exactly when it works for Greg on the other side of the world.
People have grown and changed without me here as I have changed due to my experiences. Experts on the re-entry warn that most people at home simply aren't interested your life abroad, not because they're rude, but they can't relate. I am grateful to the many who have taken the time and interest to ask me specific questions about our lives and work in Cambodia. My sister's sweet son sat with me on the balcony, crossed his little legs and asked, "So, how's Uncle Greg?" Then he asked exactly what Greg did for work. It was very special.
Canadians are stressed out. Wow. I have realized for quite some time that I live with less stress in Phnom Penh, but being back has emphasized that fact.
Canadians are very polite! Having lived in a country where the mentality is to get ahead in traffic and any type of queue, I realize why Canadians have the reputation of being polite. Every time I've been given the right of way when it's not mine, I am amazed.
The biggest shock might be that Phnom Penh is becoming home. Although I grieve not living everyday life with my kids and friends, I find myself longing for my life in Cambodia. I miss Greg, my house, my space, the traffic, the easy pace of life and I really miss my friends.
