Oh the places we go...

You're off to great places,

Today is your day!

Your mountain is waiting,

So...get on your way!

-Dr. Seuss

Believe it or not, I can take or leave international travel. I am not a person who lives to see every corner of the world, but I do appreciate the incredible opportunity that God has given me and I am grateful for our travel opportunities. Greg, on the other hand, has lived life dreaming for this time. Every once in awhile I remark, "Can you believe you are finally living your dream?"

November brought an opportunity to meet up with a former choir student of mine in Siem Reap. He teaches high school in Korea and  had American Thanksgiving off.  Greg and I flew to Siem Reap and we were in the air a mere 30 minutes. Even though we were only a 30 minute plane ride away, Siem Reap felt like a different country. The travel vibe reminded me a bit of Nepal. It was great to connect with Calvin and to explore the many temples in the area, the most famous being Angkor Wat. As we walked around, I kept saying, "Wow - it's like we're walking through ancient ruins" and Calvin reminded me that's exactly what we were doing.

We appreciated the wonder of these man made temples and the incredible carving but I was relieved that I know the one true God and not stone statues.

December brought travelers to us! T and J finished their exams on December 16 and were with us by Dec 20. The anticipation leading up to see them simply walk through the airport doors was like nothing I have ever experienced. The minute I saw their faces, my heart burst with joy and relief and I ran to them crying. J pretended he couldn't see us in the crowd...not funny.

Our days and nights have been action packed. With the kids coming to us, our time was completely designated as family time and it was nice not to have to share the time with other obligations. We conquered the Phnom Penh tourist sites which we had been saving to see with them - the National Monument, the Royal Palace and Temple, the Killing Fields and the Genocide Museum. The Killing Fields and Genocide Museum are truly devastating and were avenues to discussion about the disturbing history of Cambodia, the social effects of that history and the opportunities Greg has to address those issues in his work. The horrors of learning the truths of what occurred only increased our love for the surviving generation and the new generation of the Khmer people.

On our way to the Killing Fields, which is outside of Phnom Penh in a relatively remote location, our tuk tuk broke down! In the end, Greg and the kids pushed the tuk tuk until a kind moto driver pushed us. It was hilarious.

Greg's cousin and her husband visited Cambodia the week before Christmas with a team from their church in Singapore. We were able to meet up with them twice that week and it was great to share our lives with them.

On Christmas morning, our usual traditions took place only in a much warmer climate. Later, we attended church together before enjoying Christmas dinner with some friends. The next day, we packed up and embarked on some more travel to Otres Beach, on the Gulf of Thailand.

Greg drove to Otres Beach, following our friend. He describes it as a huge game of chicken with the passing that occurs without much attention given to lanes. It was a bit stressful but we made it! On our way, I realized that I had forgotten to pack my three bathing suits and beach covers. This was a predicament because Asian sizing is small for average sized Westerners, nevermind this body! Unbelievably, I found a bathing suit that fit in the only hut selling suits along the beach. 

 The beach was lovely and reminiscent of previous beach trips to Thailand. For T's birthday, we rented a private boat to tour three island locations where we snorkeled, swam, fished with line wrapped over a water bottle, had a bbque on the boat but passed on the cliff diving. Other highlights were the glorious sunsets, massages and delicious fruit on the beach.

We saw the kids off today and I thought I was prepared for goodbye. I had offered to fly back with them and stay for a while in January, but neither of them wanted me to because they are so busy with school and life in Toronto. Saying goodbye, I felt like my heart was being ripped out and I could barely choke words out. But, I know that goodbye is only temporary and that we would probably not have had such intensely devoted time together if we were simply living life together. They are thriving in Toronto, love living together and have family close by if they need anything. The painful goodbyes will be healed with intensely joyous hellos in the future. God assured me He would provide for them if we followed Him to Cambodia and He keeps His promises!

It's New Year's Eve and there is a huge party right outside our gate, complete with tables and chairs set up, live music on a stage, loudspeakers and dancing. Happy New Year!

This traveler who can take or leave the trips plans to cross Laos off the list in April for the Khmer New Year holiday. We are deciding dates for a summer home visit and if Greg will come this year.

Culture Shock Musings

Like living through the stages of grief, it's almost impossible to avoid experiencing the stages of cross cultural adaptation. An ability and willingness to identify each stage is an important part of healthy adaptation or so I'm told. I remember our children having to construct bridges made of popsicle sticks that identified each stage in our cultural training pre-Bangladesh. 

The Honeymoon

Who wouldn't love a honeymoon? Everything is great. Isn't the food delicious, the cost of living unbelievable, the available products mind blowing, the taste of coffee better, the hot weather like an endless summer, the people fantastic? Noticing the differences between Cambodia and Bangladesh was downright euphoric! Adapting here was going to be easy compared to what we experienced adapting to Dhaka! Honeymoons aren't meant to last forever however, and I think ours might be over.

Distress

The differences that were exciting and new are now beginning to create a more negative impact. I would identify us as in distress at the moment, but Greg doesn't feel it in the same light as I do. I've wanted to hop on a plane and go home a few times in the last month. I miss my kids. Skype everyday simply doesn't replace a physical presence. The reality that I'll only see them a few times a year grieves my heart. I feel guilt in not being physically present for Tia's medical school years and Jahred's University years.

Adjusting to the heat can't help but make us cranky and it's the cool season! Some days are fine at 32 degrees with a nice breeze, but other days are terribly humid. Realizing these temperature are the cool season is enough to make me lose my mind. The tiffs we have because we can't hear each other over the humming of the ceiling fans is ridiculousness.

Being unable to communicate properly in the "outside" world is becoming frustrating. It's tiring to have to work so hard simply to have some music photocopied for a student. It annoys me that we paid to have custom furniture made and it's not exactly "right". We will begin language classes in the near future which will help alleviate some of the communication stress but for now, it's making me a little crazy.

Buying a SUV provided us freedom to go where we want, when we want, but the stress of driving in this mayhem has affected us both. Greg was very curt in tone on his first drive because it is stressful. He was not responding as he normally would but rather out of distress. I had to talk myself to getting into the vehicle for my first drive to work. It's not easy. The intersections make zero sense, people don't follow rules and I have to drive through mud and rocks to get to work. DISTRESS I tell you!

Reintegration

This is a difficult stage and one that can linger. I am not looking forward to experiencing these feelings. It's a time of rejecting the host culture and viewing it as inferior. It's a time of comparing the host culture to home and the host culture always loses. The new coffee I once loved now leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. The lok lak curry I adored now makes me want to gag. It's a time of questioning the original decision to move abroad and there are generally feelings of anger hostility regarding life. All of these feelings are normal and a healthy stage in adjusting to a new life. To avoid admitting the phase and its ramifications or to gloss over it to rise above only lengthens the duration of the reintegration. 

Emergence

This is the first step in acceptance of life in a new culture. The fog lifts and you are able to appreciate the differences from home without glamorizing them from the honeymoon period or rejecting them like in reintegration. It's a time of feeling like yourself again and knowing your place within the community.

Independence

You feel at home. You understand who you are in light of home and your host culture. You see everything in a new light, but a more realistic light. Finally, life feels in balance again.

Interestingly, one can struggle through a stage seemingly to the next one, only to slip back. I remember slipping back into the reintegration stage towards the end of our stay in Dhaka, not ever truly embracing independence. 

A few factors have helped make our culture shock less abrasive. The first is experience. We have done this. Greg has done this twice. (he lived in Pakistan for a year while we were dating) We also had stellar cross cultural training  and debriefing with our Bangladesh experience that also prepared us for Cambodia.

Secondly, Cambodia is just easier than Bangladesh. Dhaka often finds itself at the top of the world's least livable city lists and there's a reason for that. Daily life is much easier than anything we experienced in Dhaka.

Technology has a great impact on our experience here. Skype had just started towards the end of our time in Bangladesh and was unreliable at best. I literally Facebook messaged with Jahred as he Christmas shopped at the Eaton Center whilst climbing the stairs at Bayon Temple in Siem Reap. Unbelievable! I would be very interested to know the impact of the ease of communication with home on adjusting to life overseas. I'm sure there are studies on it.

We arrived in Cambodia knowing three people well. It was amazing to begin life in a foreign country with two friends around the corner and another friend just a tuk tuk drive away. 

Lastly, our thought out decisions based on past experience is making life more enjoyable for us. The big change is that we only hired one house helper, 3 afternoons a week. Obviously our situation was different in Dhaka in that we had the children with us and I was working far more hours. I grieved the loss of my kitchen in Dhaka and I have made it very clear that I am the boss of my kitchen. Greg and I do our own grocery shopping and I am enjoying cooking here. The other non-negotiable was that I wanted to have complete control over the laundry although as I type I realize that may have been a mistake. I literally just remembered I had laundry drying on the upstairs balcony and I went to bring it in only to discover it had blown Greg's shirts onto the neighbor's roof and down the bushes. Greg is currently outside trying to rescue them and he is not impressed! DISTRESS! Everyone has things that cause annoyance to their lives but the annoyance is heightened for us due to the very real stress of culture shock.

According to the classic stages, we've got some tough days coming but our children arrive in 23 sleeps and that's something to look forward to!

Kampot/Kep Adventure

This is my Father's world,

And to my listening ears,

All nature sings and round me rings,

The music of the spheres.

This is my Father's world,

Oh rest me in the thought,

Of rocks and trees, of skies and seas,

His hand the wonders wrought.

When we Skyped our children on our recent trip to Kampot, Cambodia, Jahred asked very flippantly if we ever work. Well Jahred... Cambodia has the most statutory holidays of any country in the world - 28 for 2016. With the incredibly low cost of travel, it doesn't make sense to stay at home for these holidays. And, so we dug deep into our pockets to pay for $6 train tickets to Kampot Province, a happening tourist hot spot for international and local travelers alike.

We left our home at 6am on a tuk tuk and headed to pick up our friend Carol before arriving at the train station. It was very straightforward as the train was already there. We simply showed our tickets and boarded the Royal Railway.There wasn't much royal about this carriage ride, although it was air conditioned with a clean, Western washroom, so I am not complaining. I have peed into a hole onto railway tracks in previous Asian travels.  It was a bit tight quarters with Greg's long legs and I wonder if it might be worth it to buy two seats per person next time since the cost is minimal. Many were boarding their motos and cars on to the train to have with them in Kampot. Next time, we will follow suit.

The sights along the way were fascinating as we saw much of the landscape, villages, farms and people living in utter despair along the tracks. We were captivated for most of the trip, there and back. 

Cambodians love to snack and eat out! Everyone buys take away food and the train stopped for snack time. I had my favourite - sour mango with chili salt and on the way back I tried grilled lime chicken necks and they were delicious, albeit a bit bony. |Greg opted for raw peanuts, which he disposed of when he got home. Not a keeper, that snack. Apparently the train is making improvements and adding a food car very soon.

We've traveled Asia enough to know not to have super high expectations for the word "resort". We stayed at Villa Medici, which is a boutique resort run by an Italian gentlemen with quite a few foreign staff. The only "off" thing was a funky smell from the well water in our bungalow when the air con wasn't on. The resort is built along the river, offers cruises and water sports, has a decant restaurant with the best baguettes I've ever tasted as well as a landscaped pool area.

 The view from our boutique resort.

One of the highlights was the sunset cruise, where we sat on the roof of the boat. We were amazed that palm trees line the shore line. Sometimes, you can see quite a fire fly display once the sun goes down, but they weren't performing for us that night. There was an unfortunate drowning after a firefly tour this week as a cruise boat hit a sand bar and went down. Four lives were lost.  Kampot is a fishing village so we saw many boats go by, the "ferry" to get across the river and adorable children jumping into the river before bed. We also saw many interesting resorts along the river as we cruised for 2 1/2 hours. It was extremely peaceful and far less built up than similar places we have visited in Vietnam. It was so peaceful that I fell asleep on the roof of the boat only to be awakened to an excited, "Dawne, Dawne, over here". I woke up and asked Greg if someone was screaming my name across the river and indeed I wasn't dreaming. A friend from Phnom Penh had spotted me. It was surreal to be recognized along the river of Cambodia. The town center along the river is very cute, lined with guest houses, a few shops and restaurants. We had a huge rib dinner with baked potatoes and salad and our bill was $10 for the two of us. No Asian town tour is complete without a good foot massage and pedicure for $4. 

Just a 30 km drive out and there is a completely different, less tropical landscape on Bokor Mountain. When we return for another visit, we will spend much more time on the Mountain. Many tourists brought their long boards to ride down the safe, well signed, newly built roads. French architecture is rampant on the mountain as the French once settled there to retreat from the sweltering temperatures in Phnom Penh. Their large scale homes and churches were abandoned twice as the Khmer Rouge reigned and during the Vietnam war. The mountain is well signed to avoid possible live land mine areas. It was fun to explore these homes and churches and imagine what life was like.

 

We had lunch at the Casino, which was Western fare, but we regretted that decision once we arrived at the waterfall. Apparently, the waterfall is the place to eat! There were swarms of people, enjoying the food stalls along the rocks of the falls, despite the signs that told them not to eat there. When we visit again, we will bring a mat and a book to enjoy the gorgeous scenery that reminded us of Northern Ontario. It was amazing to us that the landscape only 20 minutes away from the river lost all tropical flavour. 

Next we visited Kep, which is a favourite beach spot of the locals. It is on the Gulf of Thailand and is being built up more and more with sun huts equipped with hammocks. The shore line is rather rocky and not the greatest beach, but the view from the hill is lovely. A must do is the crab market, but because it was a holiday (the Water Festival), the line up of cars to get in was mind boggling. Our taxi driver called someone who could speak English to inform us that it was an impossible task to get there. Instead, we ended up at Veranda Resort and it was unbelievable! If any of you come to visit, you must stay a night or two here. It is considered very expensive at $100 a night, compared to our $40 a night, but it is well worth it. It truly is one of the most beautiful spots I have ever seen. It is all natural with raw wood decor, pebble stone stairs, butterflies and dragonflies all around the trees and flowers. Greg and I have promised each other we will spend a weekend here in the future.

When it was time to go, neither of us were ready. We definitely want to tour this region again and take the time to really explore and enjoy the nature. Our train ride back was eventful to say the least. Our 8am train did not leave until 9:50 and a 76 year old German Baha'i faith "missionary" sat beside me on the train bench and gave me his spiel. The poor guy spat every word out and had a cloth to wipe his mouth but it was getting all over me! I was ready to hurl. Greg was off somewhere watching at a distance, taking photos and not stepping in to help me at all! Thanks Greg. Finally, I told this old gentlemen I needed a mango in the worst way and I got up to purchase one, eating it far away from him whilst he claimed his next victim. On the train, we sat next to a lovely Khmer family with two teenage boys and two smaller children. The older boys were eager to practice their impressive English skills and kept us captivated in conversation. They shared many of their views on life, the future, Cambodia and I am sure the future for this country is good with a generation of young people like these two. As we got closer to the city, there was an announcement that the train would be making stops to bring passengers to the Water Festival! What? The train was full! Not Asian full, however. And so, at railway crossings, throngs of people, dressed for the red carpet, would file into the train, filling the aisles way beyond capacity. It was getting hot, long and uncomfortable but the Cambodians were delighted at my shock in the situation and it made the whole ordeal kind of fun!

We were unable to tour a pepper farm due to the road conditions following some rain. That is on our list for our next trip with one of you visitors. Kampot pepper was grown and exported out of Cambodia,  famous in French cooking. When the Khmer Rouge wreaked havoc on the country they all but destroyed every pepper farm, not wanting the country to advance. Much successful work has occurred to restore this industry and it and tourism keeps Kampot a hot spot!

Days before our plane left for Cambodia, a well traveled friend asked what there was to lure him to visit Cambodia. (as if I'm not enough, right??)What could Cambodia possibly have to see that he hasn't already seen? It was hard to explain without having seen the country myself, but the amazing temples, museums and history were not enough to interest him. Now that I've seen nature's largely untouched beauty that abounds here, I could assure him there is absolutely beauty to behold. There is a reason Cambodia is filled with Australian and New Zealand tourists. Their countries are beautiful, but there is more to be seen. I hope I never become so well traveled that things don't amaze me anymore! It's a wonderful world and seeing this part of it is life changing.

Next stop...Siem Reap to spend American Thanksgiving with my former choir student, now Seoul Foreign School teacher, Calvin! We are going to explore Angkor Wat...on his bucket list.

I do not take these opportunities to travel lightly. We feel incredibly blessed to be working here in fulfilling roles and to have the holidays and means to travel. 

My next blog post is answering questions people have asked via emails, FB messages etc. If you have a question about life and culture here or about visiting...hint hint... fire away so I have something to write about. 

A Working Life

 Greg's dream since he was a teenager was to live and work in another part of the world, serving less fortunate people groups. He had a glimmer of that dream realized in 2005 when he took on the role of General Manager of Sally Ann Ltd in Bangladesh for three years. Working with relative satisfaction for 8 years with a charitable organization at home, he became more and more comfortable with life there and waiting for the right opportunity to arise. The right opportunity did arise and he is so happy to be living his dream, working for a long standing NGO in Cambodia that is well respected and oozing with integrity. Only a happy Greg would be taking selfies! :) What a cutie!

Every time it is mentioned in conversation that Greg is with Ratanak, it is immediately met with a nod of recognition and respect. You can read about their programs and successes in helping restore the lives of Cambodians on their web site linked above.

Greg leaves for work at 7:45 every morning, hopping on a tuk tuk. We live just a 10 minute drive to Ratanak. He is the Monitoring and Evaluations manager. He received some good training and has confidence in his understanding and ability due to past work experience. Visiting projects has been a highlight for him and reminiscent of Bangladesh work travel days. I am not permitted to post photos of the projects or people being helped, but you can find information at Ratanak's web site. Here are some photos of his journey to the village.

In the classroom pictured above, sat a room full of adorable children. When Greg visited they were typing on their computer keyboards. One little boy was not slightly distracted by the foreigners visiting and he kept typing up a storm. This kid was like a typing machine and Greg had never seen anyone type this fast, which is really saying something if you knew how fast his sister and daughter can type!

One of the Ratanak Vancouver employees is currently working in Phnom Penh for a couple of weeks and we've had the pleasure to get to know her. As soon as you meet her, you can't help but see a beautiful combination of elite intelligence and graceful humility and love. I hope she stays in our guest room next time! She kindly invited me to attend one of the project visits and it was an honour to see Greg and his colleagues at work. We visited the "Granny" project, which is an effort to meet the needs of at risk elderly woman. They are few and far between, these "Grannies", due to the horrific genocide that occurred in recent history. These ladies witnessed family members and friends violently killed, surviving themselves to live at risk of exploitation lives.

These "grannies" work in the day and are sheltered through the project in the evening. They are given a clean, safe environment to eat, shower, socialize, learn, worship and sleep. The grannies desire the same thing we all desire - to see their families cared for. The money they collect in the day from the generosity of others at the market is counted daily and sent back to their villages to help care for their grandchildren. Diapers, milk, clothes and even roofs on homes have been the result of their hard work. 

They were hilarious to converse with! I'd love to spend some more time there getting to know these ladies. Firstly, they had the funkiest pants/skirts on. I asked them about their clothes, via a translator who is another wonderful colleague of Greg's, and they laughed telling me their clothes were traditional, old lady wear! The sarongs would be considered hip at home. I will find one! They asked Greg's Vancouver colleague if she was married and joked that she should remain single - "it's an easier life" they said with bursts of laughter. Below is Greg's "single" colleague. :)

Here are the grannies with Ratanak founder, Brian, clearly having a laugh with him as well. 

courtesy of ratanak.org

We continue to feel overwhelmed by the goodness of God in giving Greg the desires of his heart work wise. He feels great honour in serving vulnerable populations in Cambodia.

People in my life have commented, "Sure, Greg has his dream, but what about your dream?" My dream was to be a wife, Mother and a piano teacher. Check. It's a huge bonus that I've been privileged to see a lot of world living my dream, married to Greg and his dream. I have dreamed of slowing down and having time to visit with friends, cook and even start writing the book that's been in my head. (Secrets from the Studio, be warned, if I taught you, you may be in it with names changed of course!)

If there are people with children, there is always a need for music lessons. There is no shortage of teaching opportunities for me and I began work this week. I am self employed, but using space at Hope Int'l School and teaching private piano and voice lessons there during the school day. My studio and piano are a huge step up from my previous school. The teachers have graciously sent or brought the students to their lesson and there is a wonderful differentiation in ability levels - beginner, intermediate and advanced. The faculty have been gracious and kind in welcoming the private lessons program. I enjoy being part of a school, connected, but not on faculty, meaning I don't have the same responsibilities.

 Going to work on a tuk tuk

 The front view of the school

 Just outside the studio

I am teaching three afternoons a week, from 12-4. These hours allow me to have easy mornings, with time to Skype and Facebook chat with my kids. I am transported via tuk tuk and there is always something interesting to see on the way to work, whether it be cows, duck farmers, interesting houses or people snoozing on their hammocks. We are considering getting motor bikes, called motos here, for both Greg and I. We are in the process of getting our licence and having our own transportation will certainly give us more freedom.

On the way to work...

We come home to a very clean house three days a week, thanks to the wonderful Chanene. (pronunced like Jeanine, only with a Ch start) She is our house helper and this woman can clean! My screens and windows are always clean, the floors sparkling, all 5 bathrooms washed out...it's heaven. And to top it off, she is lovely. I like to do my own laundry and cooking. I don't want anyone but me responsible for my Shannon Passero clothes. :) I found Chanene's broom hanging up in my bathroom on Oct 31 and had a good chuckle. Just like Bangladesh, the house helpers like their own tools.

And so we begin to develop work routines, fulfilling God's leading in our lives which in turn is allowing us to live our dreams. He is good. Work is good. And, there's still time to shop, play and travel!